The First Date
Speaking of dating a man that I’ve just met (see Post dated Jan. 28/18) I started to realize I had no clue how to do that! We, who had lived through the 1960s and 70s remember very fondly, how life was then. A great many rules were broken during that time with the result being many of us had the time of our lives!
We did horrify our parents with some of the shenanigans we got up to, but we felt liberated (remember no bras) and we felt that anything goes. Ask most people that were in their 20s and 30s (during that time) if they had a good time and you will get a resounding, “Yes!”
So, my memories are chock full of good times. However, it was now late 2017 and I’m a 70-year-old widow, about to embark on her first date in 40 years. Was I nervous? Do cats purr? 😊
I’m not sure how people “date” each other now. I could have gone online and done some research but that sounded like a lot of work. I could also ask any single people I know (which I did) and realized (from the answers I got) that the world really hasn’t changed that much. We’re all still males and females, and the clear majority of us want to get together with someone and have a good time.
Another thing that hasn’t changed is there don’t seem to be any rules for how to behave.
Now that I was embarking on my first date in 40 years, I realized I was nervous, so I did my best to settle my nerves figuring (hoping) that it was all going to be OK. The worst that could happen is I would hate him on sight, or shortly after he opened his mouth and spoke.
For starters, he looked quite good. He is 6’2” and has white hair. His infectious smile was charming, and he has a sexy voice. So far, so good.
We proceeded to have our doggie walk and then our lunch. The first four hours we were together was a delightful experience. We talked and laughed and talked and laughed.
Then it was time to leave. You see, I had agreed to spend the weekend with him, before I had met him in person! Please do not start thinking, “Is she crazy?” Also, please try not to be too judgmental at this point.
We had exchanged so many emails and had so many phone calls, that by the time we met (in person) we both felt we knew quite a bit about the other. Turns out we were right!
I was surprised at myself because I felt perfectly OK with the journey I was about to embark on. On the one-hour drive to his house, both of us joked about how daring we were, and what a surprise it was to both of us that we were doing what we were doing… the implication being, “at our age.”
We arrived at his place and he proceeded to prepare dinner. He had told me he liked to cook but he neglected to say how well he did it. Turns out, he’s an excellent cook and the meal was delicious.
After dinner, we watched some TV… we both like Bill Maher and so we watched his show. We laughed a lot and we were quite comfortable with each other. Before I knew it, it was time for bed. Now I’m pleased to say that I wasn’t freaking out… yet!
Now (when you hear what happens next) you’re either going to say, “Poor Berit” and/or “Poor, what’s his name.” (His name is "TK"). TK got into bed. Then I got into bed. In the blink of an eye, I burst into tears! Poor TK (and I do mean that!) had no clue what to do. It was the first time a woman had reacted like that whilst getting into bed with him.
Well! I didn’t know what to do either! So, for a minute or two I was wishing that a giant sink hole would open under the bed and swallow me whole.
That didn’t happen, so I ran into the bathroom and cried so hard I got the hiccups. All the while I’m saying to myself, “What the hell is going on?” Then I asked myself, “Are you afraid of TK? The answer was a resounding “No.” “Do you think you shouldn’t be doing this?” The answer was “Why not!!!” Then I heard “Is Alex going to be annoyed or disappointed with me?”
I was still sane enough to know that “Alex” was not talking to me, and it was my own over-active imagination having a field day! Talk about emotions running amok!
It felt like I had been in the bathroom forever, so I thought, “I have to leave this room at some point in time. I’m sure TK will not be serving me breakfast in this bathroom! So, what the hell am I waiting for?”
Then another voice in my head (it was starting to get crowded and quite noisy with all these voices spouting off) said, “Are you afraid you won’t remember what to do when you’re in bed with a man?” I heard a resounding “YES” reverberate around my head!
Then like a flash of lightening, I thought, “This is crazy! Dry your eyes and go to bed… NOW!
You can tell if a man is a true gentleman, and if he has a solid character, because the first words TK uttered were, “Are you alright? Can I help in any way? Do you need something, anything?” Then he wrapped his arms around me in a huge hug, and all was right with my world.
Now, I have shared this experience, as personal as it is, because I want you women out there that are contemplating on joining a dating site, or just looking to meet a man while doing one of your favourite activities, to do one thing… JUST DO IT!
However, I don’t recommend you do what I did… I ruined my makeup, my eyes looked like I was a racoon (from all the smudged mascara) and my nose was red from all the crying. I was not a pretty picture!
Somehow, TK saw beyond all that! Which tells me several things:
1. I know the kind of man I want in my life.
2. I recognize when I’ve met one.
3. And then I enjoy our time together.
4. I haven’t shed another tear since because all is well.