I’d like to share a little bit of how I developed into the woman I am today. For that, we need to go way back in time.
When I was about 13 years old I had an epiphany of sorts. This was about the time I fully realized that I seemed to be missing two important pieces of anatomy that other girls had, and that was a pair of large breasts (mine were very small), and I was skinny to boot!
I quickly realized that I would have to have other attributes so I could attract a boy (way back then, that was the focus of most girls at that age). Therefore I worked on my personality, my sense of humour, and my spirit. I’m delighted I realized that at such a young age because all three qualities have served me well my whole life.
Now let’s get back to the present decade. :-) As I was starting to get my footing in my new life (without my husband Alex – he passed away in January 2016) I hoped that I still had my sense of humour and my spirit. I soon found out the answer.
A while ago, I was having a conversation with a neighbour. We didn’t really know each other; we’ve just had the normal “neighbourly” chats. Upon learning of my husband’s death, he asked me if I’d like to join him for a coffee sometime. I thought, “How nice of him to suggest that.”
A while later he called and suggested we have that coffee. “Having coffee” turned into our going for a walk first, with my doggie, Ty.
When we got back to my place, I invited him to join me in a glass of wine. We were sitting on my deck, watching the sun set on the beautiful blue Pacific Ocean (I had a fabulous view at that time) and having a great conversation.
As he was telling me something amusing about his life, I laughed. He stopped talking and said, “I love your laugh! Your laugh is so rich and genuine.”
I thought to myself – who needs large breasts! :-)
That thought helped me to realize I still had my sense of humour and my spirit was strong!
One of the advantages of having lived as long as I have is that I’ve had plenty of time to develop a good sense of humour and my “spirit.” I think a person that has spirit is said to have such qualities as courage, energy, vivacity; and is lively and animated. Or, another way of saying that is – your spirit is the vital animating essence of a person.
Here’s an example of what I mean when I say “having spirit.”
If I were to ask myself the question:
“Am I the kind of woman I’d like to spend time with?”
The answer would be:
And now, I'd like to say a few words about my husband, Alex. He was such a joy to be around!
Alex and I were together for an amazing 39 years! Unfortunately he became ill in October 2015. During the many visits in the hospital we had numerous conversations about what I was going to do, should he not recover, and I would be on my own.
Alex suggested I have a blog. This was something he’d been recommending for a while. We talked about it for a bit, and then he stopped and reminded me that for many years I had been fond of saying, “I’m going to be an Outrageous Old Broad!” We had a good laugh about that. Then a strange feeling came over me and I asked him, “Do you think I can do that without you by my side?” His instant response was “Hell Yes!”
That was the last gift he gave me. He passed away that night.
Alex and I were a team at work and at play. I can’t speak to how anyone else feels about being married to a therapist, but I loved it! It wasn’t because of how he “did” therapy, it was because of who he was as a human being, who happened to “do” therapy, and did it very well.
When Alex passed away I sent out the final edition of our newsletter (we’d published it for 22 years I’m proud to say) in which I advised everyone of Alex’s passing. Many, many, people responded and wrote about their feelings towards Alex. Many of those comments were profound and heartwarming. I have never felt so humbled, and proud of Alex. I had trouble reading some of them because the tears kept flowing!
They also recognized my input into everything we did, and the very special relationship Alex and I had. Yes, Alex was the “star” but I was the one that helped him shine, and he always acknowledged that by announcing at our workshops, and in the office, that I was The Boss!
Below are just a few examples of what people wrote. I’ve only included them here because these comments prove to me that most people are decent, kind, supportive, generous, and sometimes exceptional human beings. It’s been my great pleasure to have met them over these past 30 years!