Why Can't Life be Simple?!
I had forgotten what it was like to be in a new relationship! After all, it has been 39 years since I was in one, so I’m a bit rusty when it comes to the protocols involved. The long and short of what I’m trying to say is… Mr. TK and I have reached an impasse, see things differently, have somewhat different views of the world… or another way of saying it is… we are having problems “communicating.”
Therefore, we have taken a break from each other, with the intent being to figure out how to communicate in a more effective manner.
Obviously, we care for each other because if we didn’t, we wouldn’t have lasted this long (five months).
We have very different styles when it comes to communicating and how we view the world. And therein lies the problem. Also, we do not have similar tastes in music, movies, TV, food, etc.
Before I go any further I’d like to say that I don’t believe a couple have to have the same taste in everything but having the different opinions/tastes TK and I have, can be a little frustrating, for both of us. Thank heaven we have the same preferences in politics. I can’t imagine being with a partner that thinks Donald Trump is great… I wouldn’t survive one day with that person!
One major difference is our taste in food. TK is a superb cook… I’m talking gourmet level! He’s very creative with his choices and willing and eager to try new things. Which is all well and good, except if one of the people involved does not like spicy food! I cannot wrap my head around eating certain spices, so to accomodate me, TK has toned down using very “hot” spices, which I appreciate.
However, just to be cheeky he sometimes sneaks curry into one of his dishes. To my chagrin, I’ve not hated it as much as I thought I did, and it was actually good in several of the dishes he’s made!
But, I have digressed. The main issue (or problem) we have is the difference in our communication style. I thought I was a good communicator, but it seems I’m not doing too well communicating with TK. Sometimes, the thing he has said, will cause me to have a hissy fit!
As well, TK sometimes reacts with total confusion to something I’ve said, and he ends up having the male equivalent of a hissy fit. Is there a proper name for a “male hissy fit”? If so, please write and tell me what it is! 😊
Also, TK and I have some different opinions on life in general. Therefore, we end up attempting to explain what it is we’re talking about or trying to get each other to understand what the heck we’re saying! Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. And, when it doesn’t, it’s at that point that one of us has a hissy fit! We’re both very strong personalities.
We’ve been able to muddle through all these “communication” issues, so far… until last Sunday! To make the story as short as possible… here are the highlights. TK had a meeting to go to. He said he’d be back around 12:30 or 1:00pm. When he hadn’t arrived home by 2:30, I was so annoyed, I got in the car and just started driving.
TK got back minutes after I had left (so that would be 2:30). I arrived back at the house around at 3:00 pm. He wanted to know what the heck was going on, and I wanted to know why the heck he was 1 ½ hours later than he said he would be. Neither one of us were giving an inch. There was no yelling or screaming… the only sound was both of us digging in our heels and gnashing our teeth!
I felt totally annoyed and packed up all my stuff, including Ty and headed for my car. It was at that point that TK inquired, “What is going on?” I made a valiant effort to explain what had annoyed me (his being so late). Of course, he then tried to explain why he was late. The obvious thing would have been for TK to phone me, but my cell phone wasn’t on!
I’m sure that many reading this would agree that TK should not have been so late. And, there are probably just as many that would agree I over reacted (by leaving).
Three days passed, and I decided to send TK an email. He phoned me upon receipt of it. We then proceeded to have an excellent conversation! We agreed that we have a “problem” with some of our communication. However, both of us would like to figure out what can be done about the “problem.”
I have a very strong feeling that TK and I are not ready to throw in the towel… yet. Therefore, I’m going to spend some time thinking about my own behavior and how I can behave when/if future encounters make me want to have a hissy fit. Hopefully TK will do the same! Please wish us luck! 😊
A final note… the following is what I’m saying to myself:
There will be very painful moments in my life that will change my entire world in a matter of minutes.
These moments will change me. Let them make me stronger, smarter, and kinder.
But I won’t go and become someone I’m not.
Cry, scream if I must.
Then I’ll straighten out my crown and keep moving!